More Self-Inflicted Wounds of the Trans Generation


There are many disadvantages to being either sex/gender. Denying your birth gender means you miss the opportunity to bond in rueful solidarity and commiseration with your gender peers over the misfortunes of menstruation or male hairiness, or unwanted erections, or whatever. Yet you cannot become the opposite gender. You cannot experience the bonding, formative experiences they have, because you don’t have the biology that leaves you prey to those gender-specific experiences and embarrassments. You are left in limbo.

Adding to their distress, many active Trans people pursue unnecessary, bruising conflict that leaves them exhausted and feeling persecuted. For example, many attempt to invade and take ownership of, other people’s conversations. They do this by “choosing” the 3rd person pronouns (“She”, “he”, “they”, etc.), that they want used to refer to them, although this is neither their right nor any of their business. The 3rd person, by its very grammatical purpose, refers to people who are not present. To insist on how other people use language, even when you aren’t there, is an infringement of their right to free speech and they are likely to resist it. It may be unkind or thoughtless not to take heed of such requests, but, unfortunately, in a just and free society, everybody must be allowed the right to be unkind and thoughtless if they wish to be. 

Better, surely, to admit that your body, your bio-chemistry, your nerves and sensations are the very bedrock of who you are. If who you are upsets you, do what you need to do overcome the feeling, with the help and support of those who love you, rather than destroy yourself seeking some gender-pantomime salvation. 

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